On the way to Walmart I thought about cutting. How to do it and make it look like an accident. I thought I could say I was going to cut a cantaloupe in half but I bumped it. As it was rolling off the counter, without thinking, I grabbed it with both arms and the knife sliced my left arm. I can picture it. It sounds real. Like it really could happen.
But then.......I would be lying. To myself, my family which I'm seeing tomorrow, my therapist, you know, the usual folk. So I decided not to. But I have to be honest and say....I'm not sure I won't.
God, please make a way for me to escape this darkness.
