About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Sunday, June 02, 2013

Healing Rain

Dear God,

 I know you will provide for all my needs according your riches in Christ Jesus.  Help me to own that truth.

 I literally feel sick to my stomach as I juggle your money.  The $100 surprise ticket in the mail, while I did roll through a red light, is nevertheless hard to squeeze in.  On top of that, before the ticket, I planned on taking my niece to Great America for her graduation/golden birthday.  So, the hundred dollars I was going to use just got sucked up.  Now what?

 I hate living so tightly.  September can't come soon enough when my car is paid off.  Lord, I know you understand all of this.  I know you will help provide.  Still, I'm always anxious until that happens.  Right now would be great!  

 I've been feeling depressed today - still.  It's heavy.  I've got to print a copy of my story for Faith.  I can do that tomorrow.  I don't even want to do anything.  I've already been out and about today.  I spent $20 on myself.  I couldn't not get anything.  $10 was needs and $10 was books/videos.  The Dollar Tree and Goodwill are my favorite places.  I didn't eat out.  

 The truth is God, I'm still hurt about a friend.  I don't know what to do.  I really don't.  I sent another email apologizing for making a mistake.  Asked again for a chat time.  No response.  I don't understand.  I'm so used to other friends responding within a few days or so.  This friend included.  I don't know if I'm asking too much or if...I dunno.  I pray for healing, Lord.  Jesus, please hold the three cords together.  I feel very sad.  Maybe my expectations are too high.

 Love your daughter,
Amy Kathleen