About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Bipolar Depression

Bipolar depression is a thief that steals joy, basic function and all desires of being able to feel better.

It creeps up on you like a thief in the night and robs you of happiness, freedom to live a full life and be able to do tasks that can set your mind free and at ease.

It captures your head in a vice. 
It doesn't squeeze but you can feel your head heavy.
Thoughts are non-existent.
Feelings?  Swing from anger to frustration then to denial and back again.

There's no mania.
Nothing to rescue you from the cold darkness inside.
I try to sleep but I can't.
I hear myself cry out in the night.

Bipolar depression.
Pain locked up inside with no way to escape.
No one to talk to.
My therapist is out for the day. 

I talk to my doctor via my portal.
She's compassionate.
I feel......warmth.
Then I'm dead.

I close my eyes.
I'm tired.
I can't sleep.
I'm bipolar depression.

The End