About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Part 1 of 2 - God's Presence

Looking back, I see God's hand actively involved in my life, much more than I knew at the time.  When the physical pain of the abuse was horrific, God wept with me.  When the emotional abuse was frightening, God protected my feelings.  When the mental abuse was crafty and disguised, God gave me discernment to find a safe place in my mind.  God was with me in everything.

Physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse and mental abuse.  Four types of abuse that could have wrecked me for my whole life.  But God had other plans.  He planned to use this evil for good.

I had a very hard time believing there was a God.  I felt neglected and abandoned by my parents, cast aside by my sisters, unworthy of love that didn't hurt and left feeling it was up to me to survive.  All of this helped me make the decision that I was best off taking care of myself.  I was eight years old.

God brought people into my life that had a relationship with God.  They would share how much God loves me, wants to help me, etc..  I didn't believe them because they didn't know my story.  They didn't know God was already not helping.  My family was beyond repair.

God knew different.