I'm a bit puzzled as to why. I know it happens when I read the news and when I'm writing my blog. I feel it right now wanting to start and I felt it wanting to start earlier when I was reading a news story.
Why is that?
The news stories I read are mostly about people and their tragedies. A death, a child being hurt, an animal being rescued. Some sort of situation that causes feelings of sadness.
The blogs I write are stories from my history or my present. Some of them are sad or reflective or nice. I'm not sure any of them are fun. When I write them I am conscious of the words but not emotionally connected to them.
In both writing scenarios, I am shut down.
Self-injuring while being shut down is a common form of self expression. Those feelings that are supposed to surface never get a chance to because I hide them away in a safe place.
But are they really safe? No.
They come out in a way that causes pain, physical pain and I need to find a way to stop it.
Lord, in all the ways you are healing my pain, please show me how to heal this one.
