About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Dealing With A Lot - Final

I remain concerned about my cat who has been gone for twelve days.  It's hard not being able to find her.  Our weather has a couple of warmer temps so I'm hopeful she'll come out of hiding and be sitting on my porch.  There's a good chance I can crawl under my home with my flashlight to make sure she's not under there.

I continue to feel drained and very, very tired.  I struggle to keep my eyes open.  I'm sleeping better at night.  I'm dog sitting for a dear friend which is good.  I love these dogs.  One of them licks my face when I'm sleeping to let her out.  I don't get woken up like that at home.  It's usually a kitty paw on my face or someone pouncing on my tummy.

A few nights ago my mom called.  She had a major headache all day and went to see her doctor.  Mom had a TIA years ago so anytime she has something related to a stroke she has to see her doctor.  So far they've run a bunch of tests.  They haven't told her the results so she's guessing everything is okay.

She has a brain MRI scheduled for this Tuesday.  She does have a little more plaque on her brain.  She says it's normal because she's 71.

I received this phone call after my friend's husband had the large cancerous brain tumor removed and the night of Grandma Miller's wake.  I could barely have the conversation with my mom.

I felt like another bomb had been dropped.  Our conversation was short.  I hung up the phone and said, "Lord, I can't handle any more of anything."

The next morning I woke up with a killer migraine.  I took my meds and then my entire head went numb for about half an hour.  I should have taken myself to the emergency room but honestly, I had no energy to do anything.  The numbing came and went for about an hour and a half then it stopped.  Then I rested at home and didn't do anything.

  • Self-Care:  Trying to use more boundaries is tricky.  Learning how to measure my ability to give takes practice but I think I did okay.  It's good to know what's practical to find my cat.  It's healthy to know if I can listen to my mom and if so, how much.  I didn't do good taking care of the numbness all over my head so I'll try to do better next time.