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| Scene from the movie, "Gettysburg." |
With all that's been going on, I hadn't planned on how to describe the depression I've been feeling. When he asked, "Amy, how have you been feeling lately?", I said, "Really, really heavy." We talked about how this is the worst time of year for me.
Then I remembered one of my favorite DVD's and I gave him this word picture:
"I'm a Civil War buff. I picture myself as a soldier in the civil war and I'm shooting other soldiers. But then I get shot and I fall to the ground. Then I claw at the ground trying to get to safety. That's how I feel. I'm clawing my way to safety."
My psychiatrist's reaction was interesting. He told me that's when I should come into the hospital so he can make adjustments to my medications and I'll be safe. I told him I wasn't suicidal nor did I want to self-injure.
I told him my therapist and I are tackling some sexual abuse stuff that's really deep. He let out a big sigh and gave me a dose of encouragement and helpful advice about my eating issues. He decided to increase one of my anti-depressants and warned me that it might cause the desire to want to eat more. He wanted me to keep track of it with my therapist and do the hard work of getting through to the other side. I told him I've worked through one perpetrator. It's the other five I need to get through.
As always, I left that appointment feeling better than when I first went in.
I don't understand people who don't talk and tell the truth to their therapist and their doctors. These people are trained to help you. You go to them for help yet you don't tap into all the help they can give. The professionals in my life are here because I chose them, with God's help, to be here. If I didn't trust them they wouldn't be here.
So if you're struggling with finding the right words to tell someone how you feel, use a word picture like I did. I find movies very helpful. I hope you find one that works for you.
