1. I'm only as sick as my secrets.
2. Secrets are meant to be shared in a safe environment.
3. Faith is a safe person to share my secrets.
4. I don't have to share all of my secrets in one sitting.
5. My secrets can only hurt me if I give them the power to do so.
Faith read my blogs for the past week. I read the printouts of them along with her. I didn't remember the depth of sharing. They revealed a lot of pain and suffering in ways I hadn't encapsulated before.
I felt uneasy at the level of exposure. Even though I felt okay writing about it, looking back I was easily uncomfortable with what I'd written. I felt I shared too much.
But did I share too much or was it appropriate?
Was it because I held onto these secrets for decades?
Maybe it was time for these secrets to come out of the dark and into the light?
What I know is I have more to tell Faith at our next session. I could not say it yesterday because a flood of tears would have flowed out of me. Tears of deep sadness and decades of pain.
Secrets stay secrets for a reason. It serves a purpose to have them living in the darkness. Whether it's to preserve a present relationship or to prevent us from having an emotional breakdown, keeping secrets benefit us otherwise we'd talk about them.
I'm ready to start talking about them, one by one and build a new kind of safety and security based in truth and the love of God, the healer of all things in my life.
With God's help, healing will take place as each secret is loved forward.
