About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Failure and the Mountain

Ever feel like a failure?
Ever feel like most of the rest of you has experienced great accomplishments but this one part of you can't seem to make it over the mountain?
No matter what gear you use or how well you think you've prepared, that mountain remains the one obstacle you cannot get over.  No matter what you do.

It's disheartening, really.
To have such an obstacle in front of you, knowing in every other area of your life you have overcome.  You have overcome some ugly sins against you.  Sins that should have taken your life had it not been for an all loving God.  By His grace I was saved from unsuccessful suicide attempts, advancing self-injurious behavior, drinking escalating no matter where I was and mental illness.

I held down jobs because I am smart.  Very smart.  Low genius smart but nevertheless genius.  No college education.  Technology came easy to me.  Still does.
Disabled because of my diagnosis.  Can't think straight most of the time.  Genius reduced to greatest secret ever hidden.  Don't like being smart.  Very smart.
Especially when facing failure and the mountain.