You have been on a very long journey in dealing with depression. I know how weary you get and I know the pull to feel alone in it is very strong. I'm not at all surprised it has returned.
I'm not surprised because of the intense dreams you've been having. I know you don't remember them visually but your body remembers. That's why you want to clutch to Me, your small group, your family and your friends.
But you aren't clutching to them like someone who has no hope or isn't experiencing healing. You are clutching because walking this road by yourself is still scary. Not impossible but scary.
Your book, your story, is one step closer to being started. Even with all you've written in your blogs you're still going to have to fill in the gaps. The gaps are what separate you from everyone else who writes on these topics. The gaps are what's going to draw people toward Me.
Amy, your depression fills a purpose. Not to make you miserable but to draw you closer to Me and to others. You don't have to go through this alone. If you think about it, scripture is breathed into you and those who preceded you had struggles, too.
Even people you consider great teachers have struggled and still struggle with things. You're not alone in this calling. I use the brokenhearted and call them according to their purpose.
What did Faith say to you the other day? "You are definitely called." Yes, you are.
Now go get into my Word and rest in the truth and wisdom of what it says. Remember, I wrote my instruction manual in words of love, even if it sounds harsh. I want you to grow and I want you to go and write the book.
I'll be with you, my child.
I will always be with you.
Your loving Father,
Abba God
