About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Self-Care

Self-care isn't easy, at least not for me.  I spend more time thinking about what others will think of me than I do the benefits of how taking care of myself will ultimately benefit everyone.  For example:

I called Faith and told her I would not be at group today.  I cannot handle the stress of the energy and dynamics of the group.  Not today.  Depression?  Yes.  Just want to be by myself.  Don't want to sit and listen to other people sharing and commenting on each others comments.  Especially mine.  Don't want to bond with anyone.  Don't want to help anyone.  Don't want to receive help from anyone.  Just want to "be."

There was a day when I would go just to please everyone but myself.  That's an unhealthy way of living.  That causes more stress than it's worth.  I'm worth more - I'm worth saying "no" to others.

I'll probably go to the library.  Probably empty out my car.  Probably put the air conditioners in the windows.  Probably get some duck tape.  

 I'll probably be okay.

 Yes, I'll be okay.  Because taking care of myself is the one thing I can do that no one else can do for me.  Doing this more often will strengthen the love I lack for myself.