I know what crying on the inside feels like. There's a concave feeling near my heart, A pit, if you will. It seems very far away like I can't get the sadness out. So, I wear a mask. My mask of smiling like everything is okay.
But there's this other emotion I can't put a name to. I suspect it's similar to other emotions hiding from the outside. I can't identify the one that makes me scream on the inside.
It's not frustration or anger. It's not fear or being afraid. It's more like a panicky nervous movement of my head and shoulders and then the scream in my head. Sometimes it's frequent.
I wonder if this has to do with hearing voices. I'll have to ask my psychiatrist. Sometimes the body movement feels uncontrollable. It's weird.
