I had a young lady from AT&T knock on my door. She was going to talk about my service and possibly update it. Before she got to that she noticed one of my cats outside running to the neighbor's house. Then we had one of those "God" conversations.
She told me when she was about four or five years old she was attacked on the face by a cat. She was all scratched up, bleeding, the works. Since then she's had panic attacks every time a cat rubs up against her or touches her.
She said one time she was in her car and a friend's cat was sitting outside of her car door. She had to call her friends to come and move the cat because she was so afraid. I said to her, "That sounds like PTSD." She didn't know what that stood for. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. YES, she said. That's it.
I told her about a therapy program at Alexian Brothers in Hoffman Estates. It's called Exposure Therapy and it's part of the Anxiety program. It's about exposing someone to the fear slowly and teaching them how to manage the fear or panic they feel. It's like telling yourself you're not 4-5 years old anymore even though that's how you feel in the moment. They teach you how to retrain your thoughts and feelings so that you're no longer a prisoner to that incident that happened so long ago.
I shared with her some of the trauma I've been working on and how important it's been to not give so much power to the memories, the dreams or the flashbacks of the abuse. I'm learning to bring those negative and hurtful body memories into the present, reminding myself that I am in complete control of who touches me. I'm stronger, bigger and I have a voice. I have more tools in my toolbox that I can use when those flashbacks and body memories surface. I also have a close relationship with Jesus so I can ask Him for help.
We had a nice talk. She asked again what hospital it was at. I told her and then wished her well.
God has been using me a lot lately to speak encouragement and direct people on where to get help. Talking to people about their issues, specifically, and divulging mine is very comfortable. Maybe He's getting me ready to be transparent with the publication of the book.
Then again, maybe He's showing me I still have a purpose.
