About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Friday, May 02, 2014

Static

Static.  It's a bothersome noise when you're trying to listen to a favorite song, sports event or something else you enjoy.  I enjoy watching TV shows on Netflix.  But sometimes there's static.

The static is from my speakers.  A kitty must have chewed on one of the wires.  I can't find it but the proof is in the reduced sound quality.

I have static in my life, too.  I have this little bit of something that prevents me from doing 100% of what God is asking me to do.  I do 90% and then I stop.

My connection to God isn't as clear.  I feel 90% connected instead of 100% connected.  Where's the other 10%?  I don't know.

It could be stuck in a past situation.  Maybe I need to talk to someone and clear the air.

It could be lost in a present day task.  Maybe I'm moving around too much.

I could be forgotten in a future dream.  Maybe my mind is planning ahead.

In either case, I'm not giving God 100% of my attention.  I'm letting static into our relationship.  And when I do that, how can I expect to have equality in my quiet times or being in creation or having a conversation with a stranger who needs to know God loves them?

I can't.

I've got to tackle the static and let that disturbance flow through me and out of me.  It has no place in my heart.  It can be destructive, just like a lightening strike.  Take cover - here comes the unknown.

People matter to God (Rev. Bill Hybels)
I matter to God.
All of us matter to God.

Get rid of the static so that God can speak clearly to us and we can hear Him clearly.