About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Thursday, March 05, 2015

Kind Love

Of all the experiences I've had in my life, none has been more precious to me as my tender relationship with Jesus.  Yes, the healing in my birth family is a second runner up, the birth of my nephew and each niece are third runner ups and even my own recovery and healing is a fourth runner up but Jesus will always be first.

Celebrating His birth on December 25th.
Palm Sunday starts March 29th.
Passover begins April 3rd.
Easter is April 5th.

I asked Jesus to forgive my sin and to live in my heart in March of 1988.  My life changed forever that day.  I felt the weight of my sin lift off my shoulders.  I had no idea what lay in store for me but I knew He would always be with me.  I would never be alone again.  At least not by my own accord.

Since that day I've had to face and fight many of my inner demons.  Only because of my faith have I been able to face and overcome them.  Only because I have chosen to fight instead of flee have I been able to continue to resist them.  Only because of the inner resolve to not get pulled back into destructive behavior have I been able to walk the narrow path of peace beyond all understanding.

That's what the God of the Bible promises us:

Philippians 4:7New International Version (NIV)7 " And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I've always liked the sound of it.  Something so out of reach for so many years can finally be attainable in my little messed up world.  Something private - between God and I.  It doesn't rely on anyone else.  For that matter, it doesn't rely on me, either.  It's all about God - His perfect peace, given to someone like me, simply because...

He loves me.
He loves me unconditionally.
He loves me when I don't love him back.
He loves me without my being perfect.
He loves me when I'm angry at him.
He loves me when I'm quiet and don't speak.
He loves me when I walk away.
He loves me because He made me for fellowship with Him.
He loves me.

Where else can you find that kind of love?

A little over 2,000 years ago, Jesus was found guilty of blasphemy.
He claimed to be the Son of God.
He was scourged and imprisoned.  While imprisoned,
A crown of thorns was pressed into his head.
A bloodied man barely able to carry his cross,
He walked the road to Golgotha where he would hang with two thieves.
His mother and the disciple he loved following with the crowd.
Dropping the cross and falling under the weight of it, a soldier
Summoned a man in the crowd to help Jesus.  The man did not know Jesus.
Trudging along, falling, the other man helped Him.  We are told this man,
By the end of the journey, believed Jesus was the Messiah.
Reaching Golgotha Jesus dropped his cross.
Made to lay down upon it, one hand held down with a spike hammered through it,
He cried out in pain.  His mother and the disciple he loved cried.
The other hand unable to reach the hole, is pulled until a spike is hammered through.
More cries of pain cry out from Jesus' lips.  Then the feet and more cries of pain.
His mother and the disciple he loved look on with more helplessness and tears.

Could you do what Jesus did?  Could I?
That pain would have been too much for me to bear.
And yet, He bore that pain and more for you.

And for me.

If you haven't experienced the love God offers you through Jesus, talk to a friend whom you trust who has that relationship or use this website to try a local church in your area:
Willow Creek Association Churches