My apologies for the lengthy time between my last post and this one. I have been working on a project that is challenging and rewarding. I'm writing my story in book form to fulfill God's calling or purpose for my life which is, "To bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering."
"Suffering?" Yes, from the pain of things I've shared in all of my blog posts. All of it. Weaving it together, without triggering details, with the thread of hope and healing power of God's love for us.
I have been blessed with a small group of women who are praying, a supportive family who are helping with some of the factual history and friends who are typing or reading or helping sort through 1,200 pieces of paper of past blog writings to help with content ideas.
Very often I feel inadequate for what God has asked me to do. When I write, I relive what happened to me. No longer to the level of total trauma but there's always a sense of sadness. Thank goodness there are cognitive behavior therapy tools to use. Thank goodness there are rainbows after the storms.
I feel like Moses standing in front of the burning bush which when he takes a closer look, isn't actually burning. Then he hears a voice speak to him. You can find this true account in Exodus 3.
The voice tells him three things:
1. Take off your sandals for where you are standing is holy ground.
Moses complies.
2. I have heard the cries of my people and I have come to rescue them.
Moses is glad.
3. I am sending - you.
Moses - huh? Who am I? What if they don't believe me?
Isn't that true of us? We want proof ahead of time that everything that's going to happen is going to be okay BEFORE we act. But that wasn't what God was teaching Moses. He was reassuring Moses that he would not be alone, that God would be with him throughout everything that was going to happen, good or bad.
That's what I've held onto throughout my recovery. It's what I continue to hold onto as I write my book. God and I are doing this life together.
I wouldn't want to do anything without Him.
He's the Creator.
I'm the creation.
As it should be.
