No, the voices I hear are not commanding. They never tell me to do any harm to anything or anybody. The first time I hear something is the warning bell that I have to see my psychiatrist right away.
What I hear and the order it arrives is very important. The more I have to contend with, the more difficult it is to manage. Consequently, it leads to an episode which lands me in the hospital. Therefore, emergency to get in to see my psychiatrist. I forgot to tell him at our last visit the previous week.
WRITE IT DOWN!!
This is the order of what I heard in the last month prior to hospitalization:
- A low radio interview with only words I cannot make out outside my body.
- Loud megaphone voices inside my head.
- Bad music. Bad 60's and 70's no words.
- Some eerie music but the notes are strung out long.
- One gospel note. I know it's gospel because of the image in my head.
- Rap music
- A loud shout: "YOU WERE ABUSED!!" (tell me something I don't know)
Most of the music continued when I was hospitalized. Almost beat up a patient because I thought she said something to me. Turns out it was my voices. The next morning I initiated an apology, she apologized, too. I asked if she said the sentence I heard then explained why I was there. She was sympathetic and said she has a bad habit of overreacting.
8th day of new medication
5th day dosage increase
1st day with no voices (when hearing them for a month)
Isn't God good? You bet He is!!
Grateful for a second chance at documenting my stuff better. Enjoy!
