I have no desire to overeat let alone eat foods I would consider unhealthy.
Still, I noticed something interesting as I read the newspaper ads.
This illness that seems to have no end does not prompt me to eat.
I keep an eye on the clock then eat something small:
Oatmeal, a roll, a piece of fruit, sherbert.
I was glancing through the weekly ads when I came across the grocery ads.
I started looking at the different ads, prices, combinations and then something strange happened.
My head started obsessing about all these foods and my panic/anxiety shot way up.
My unhealthy voice, my addiction voice, my self-deprecating voice started to gain ground.
I started having head hunger which is when my head is telling me to eat all of these things, that it's okay for me to eat massive quantities and it won't hurt my ability to lose weight. This is a LIE!
And then....
My healthy voice,
My recovery voice,
My self-care voice took over.
It told me to stop reading those ads immediately.
Throw those ads in the garbage right now.
Wait and see how my body feels when those are done.
I didn't know I was holding my breath so breathing became easier.
No anxiety, no panic, in control of my decisions and confident that I was on my way to being thin.
This is the TRUTH!
Faith, my therapist, is continually reminding me to be mindful in my decisions.
Being mindful means I engage fully and don't disengage to pretend land.
Stay grounded (both feet on the floor) and wait for Godly guidance -
Guidance that will not harm me in any way.
I'm putting this into practice more often.
Even if it's slow I'm moving forward.
Therefore, this is another token being tossed into the achievement bucket
where the weight loss becomes an accomplished milestone.
What a day that will be !!
