Brave Bipolar Balance

Awareness of how you're feeling when you wake up.

Bold enough to tell yourself the truth.
Caring about someone other than yourself.
Doing a random act of kindness without being caught.
Estimating your medication so you don't run out.
Finding a support group that "gets" you.
Giving your talents to a non-profit organization.
Having the courage to say, "Ouch."
Ignoring negative people instead of punching them out.
Justifying your actions to those who know you.
Kindness attracts kindness.
Love those who are difficult to love because they are trying to love you.
Mania is possible to manage.
No one has the right to hurt you.
Open your eyes and see the beauty God created in you.
Play often and much with your friends.
Quietly meditate so your mind can be at peace for a little while.
Rest when you are weary.
Sunshine is good for depression.  Too much sleep exasperates it.
Trust can be broken but it can also be restored with forgiveness.
Understanding your illness helps you explain it to others.
Very carefully, let people in.
Wishing doesn't make it so.
Xtra time with God can fill those holes in your soul.
Yelling never solves anything.
Z-best thing for bipolar is education so go get some:  www.bphope.com

Pride and Insecurity

I'm listening (again) to Beth Moore's, "So Long Insecurity (You've Been A Bad Friend To Us)."

The part of the book that is capturing my heart is pride.  Did you know there are so many factors and life experiences that feed pride?  It's no wonder it roars like a lion in so many cases or crushes us like a bug in others.  My own story about pride is a sad one but Jesus is turning my mourning into dancing by bringing forth weapons of massive healing, not destruction.

Let me tell you that pride can destroy relationships in one fell swoop and take the joy out of fellowship.  Pride can often not be "taken back" once it slips out of your mouth nor can it be explained without seeing a therapist.  Pride has an unnatural way of cornering us and making us feel unable to move or resolve issues in healthy ways. This is my opinion, not Beth's.  I don't often quote people but I do recommend her book.

Pride and insecurity seem to go hand in hand for me.  Where pride is selfish and destructive to myself and others, insecurity is based on my interpretation of another's behavior.  When I feel hurt by someone else, I immediately look for a "blanket" to cover me up.  Sometimes it's food, self-injury in my mouth, distancing myself or isolating.  Sometimes the last two are good so that I can wrap my head around what happened and respond appropriately rather than emotionally.

I have no issue with people who are honest, apologize or in other ways take responsibility for what they've done.  Even if they take too much responsibility (which I will address) or if they feel they are not a good enough friend and this is too hard (which I will address), my own insecurity is triggered.  I have to take a time out to:

1. Identify the trigger
2. Was it intentional?
3. How am I feeling?
4. Is this friendship worth the work? (Determines how to proceed)
5. Talk to my therapist
6. Ask God to Reveal Options of Reconciliation
7. Talk to the person by voice (Typing can be misunderstood)
8. Listen, Listen, Listen
9. Ask Questions
10. Pray (Christians)

Let me close with my favorite poem, "Desiderata," which says:

May God bless you on your journey toward relational wholeness,

Amy