About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Saturday, April 09, 2016

15 Minutes and My Dentist

Have you ever noticed God shows up in the darnedest of places?

Please Read This Writing First

This past week I went back to the same dentist for some filling replacements. I was now reading the book of Job and started reading in the lobby.  When they brought me back, I had some time to read before my dentist arrived.  When she did, she sat on her chair, scooted right up behind me so she could see what I was reading and asked, "Now what are you reading?"  I told her the book of Job.  She looked up and repeated the word then asked what it was about.  I told her it was about a man who God gave everything to, Satan said that's why his faith in God was so strong so God allowed Satan to take everything but not touch his body.  "Oh," she said, "We're not supposed to hold onto things too tightly."  Yes.

Remembering her repeating the word Job to herself, I asked her what she was doing and she said she didn't know how it translated.  This got me curious.  I asked her what language she reads.  She said Chinese.  Ah-ha!  That made sense.  I bet my English Bible looked foreign to her like Chinese looks to me.

She started drilling and it felt like a long process.  I was ruminating on purchasing a Chinese Bible but how do I get one in the version I want?  I stopped at a local Christian Bookstore and asked some questions.  They were very helpful and suggested some websites.

This has been an education.  I think I'm going to get her a Bible in common Chinese (I've already learned more about the Chinese dialect than I thought possible) and have her Bible personalized.  The one I'm getting is a Chinese/English Bible so she can, hopefully in the future, attend either a Chinese or English speaking church and have a bible that would work for either congregation.

You know, in China, Chinese Christians are persecuted for their beliefs.  They have house churches or underground churches and if they're caught, the could be put to death.  This woman is in America where she is free to believe and follow whatever religion or in our case, relationship, she wants to.  It's my prayer that seeing Jesus goes beyond reading my Bible to showing her His kindness and the value He places on her life.

I don't know her past or what brought her here.  All I know is she probably thinks of me as the Bible lady.  That's a good place to start because I feel God put this doctor into my life to draw her closer to Jesus.  She is a wonderful dentist.  I'm so glad my heart is hearing the whispers of God to help His lost children draw closer to Him.

God Will Make A Way


Tuesday, April 05, 2016

A Knock on the Window

Saturday was the birthday of one of my dearest BFFs.  Because of some medication changes I hadn't the ability to make her gift.  I wasn't sure of her schedule that day so I opted to send her an email.  At the same time I was driving to my other BFFs house to wash some of my blankets and go to the store to teach me how to eat healthier so I can lose this now 96 pounds.  I was using the microphone on my phone, speaking the email but it was getting all messed up.  That's when I decided to pull into a small shopping center in the next town and type it myself.

I was almost done proof reading when there was a knock at my passenger side window.  There stood a young lady who looked like she'd seen better days.  I cracked open the window.  She asked, "Can I sit in your car?  I'm pretty cold."  I quickly ran through my thoughts of safety and being robbed and decided this might be a God encounter.  I unlocked the door, pressed Send for the email and she sat down and closed the door.  She said thank you then burst into tears and kept apologizing.  I rubbed her back and said, "Oh honey, you have nothing to apologize for."  She continued breaking down into tears and I tenderly spoke to her, continuing to rub her back.

I asked her what happened.  She told me what she felt comfortable telling a stranger.  After about 15 minutes I told her I was going to my friend's house.  She was a little hesitant until I explained how warm and comforting my friend is.  I told her she'd make her breakfast and tea and I knew she had a charger for her phone.  She sat and thought for a minute.  I asked if I could put the car in gear to leave and if she wanted to get out at anytime, I'd let her out.  She agreed to go.  I called my friend and as I began to explain what was happening, the young lady burst into tears again and my friend said, yes, get her here.

The next couple of hours we listened to her story and counseled her as best we could.  I talked to her about how important it is to stay on your anxiety medication  and to stay sober.  I shared a little bit of my story then she shared some of hers.  She was having a hard time staying sober and I told her you have to want it more than anything.  My friend talked to her about boyfriends and boundaries.  How letting someone abuse you is not okay.  How making healthier choices is the key but she can't do that for she and her baby if she's drinking.

By the end, we drove her home, still concerned about her safety.  She has the tools to stay safe - she knows it's up to her to put them into action.  We gave her our phone numbers, watched her walk into her house, waited a few minutes then drove away.

God wanted more than my blankets cleaned that morning.
He wanted the soul of His broken child washed clean from bad choices she's made.
She knew I was a Christian from the beginning when she sat in my car.
I wanted her to know she was completely safe.  She must have felt God's presence.
Jesus washed my soul clean from bad choices I made, too.
It's important we share our brokenness so that others can relate to us.

Sometimes, when there's a knock at the window, God has sent one of His broken children to receive His love and guidance through you.  What an amazing God!