Oh how I dream that there would be an organization where people with mental illness and disabilities and fixed low incomes, who fall through the help of government help, could go to for financial assistance when charities and churches can no longer help.
Am I meant to start such a place?
A place of pooled resources from those who have much who have a heart for the plight of the moderate poor in our country? A heart for those who are judged and even frowned upon for living in America where so much abundance overflows yet they are forced to scavenge for their most basic needs. Needs like good nutrition, reliable transportation and excellent health care.
Why are we who are living on so little forced to deal with so much? Why do some of us, myself included, feel so dependent on those close to us but so embarrassed and ashamed to mutter the words we too often have to say: Help me, again.
I cringe every time and I cry at the thought.
I look into the future of the next couple of months and know summer is only going to get hotter in the northern suburbs of Chicago. Yes, I have two window air conditioners already mounted from previous years but something is different this year. This year I didn't qualify for LIHEAP - a program for low income energy assistance. I missed it by $64. I missed out on about $700 worth of help by $64. It's the reality we live with everyday. We who are marginalized in this country.
I'm not looking for pity. I'm not looking for...I don't know. I'm just saying, people like me who live on fixed incomes and aren't faking it really do struggle to survive. But we are also some of the strongest people you'll ever meet.
We say no to a lot. Sometimes we say yes when we should say no but who doesn't? Then there are days like today when you give yourself permission to feel overwhelmed and sad for a bit but you know you have God on your side and you're truly not alone in the mess of this life.
So maybe I have to let my fingers do some research for financial assistance elsewhere. Maybe I have to not run the air conditioning but that also makes me physically ill so that's not really an option. I know God has a plan so all I have to do is the footwork.
For the future, way in the future, maybe if my book is successful, I can help people - after I help myself a little bit. Maybe I can start a ministry that can give one time gifts to those in need as the IRS allows. And maybe, with God's blessing, He and I can start something that will be healthy, joyous and free.
Because, people like me? Our needs never go away.
And I think we are unfairly discriminated.
