I'm taking a break.
Talk to you soon!
Amy
Friday, July 05, 2013
Thursday, July 04, 2013
Independence Day
One Nation, Under God.
July 4, 1776
My day will be spent at Six Flags in Gurnee, IL. We are celebrating my niece's 12th birthday. I get to hang with my youngest niece and her friend while the others go on the big kid rides!
It promises to be a great day.
Enjoy this. It's the live performance of igNight @ Six Flags Great America, Gurneee, IL.
July 4, 1776
My day will be spent at Six Flags in Gurnee, IL. We are celebrating my niece's 12th birthday. I get to hang with my youngest niece and her friend while the others go on the big kid rides!
It promises to be a great day.
Enjoy this. It's the live performance of igNight @ Six Flags Great America, Gurneee, IL.
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Grief vs. Depression
I have no mental or physical energy to write I borrowed this from a reliable source who recommended it, Meier Clinics (Click here to visit their website).
When my nephew Aaron died at age 18 from huffing propane, his dad and I had this kind of discussion. Because I have a diagnosis of depression, I was able to help him understand the difference between the two. I could do that because my therapist at the time was able to explain it to me.
Click here to read "What is the Difference Between Depression and Grief"
Here's a video that talks about, "Grief: When It Becomes Depression."
When my nephew Aaron died at age 18 from huffing propane, his dad and I had this kind of discussion. Because I have a diagnosis of depression, I was able to help him understand the difference between the two. I could do that because my therapist at the time was able to explain it to me.
Click here to read "What is the Difference Between Depression and Grief"
Here's a video that talks about, "Grief: When It Becomes Depression."
Tuesday, July 02, 2013
Feeling Scattered
I've been having difficulty trying to decide what to write. I decided to just do a brain dump. Here we go.
I dreamt about tornadoes last night. Seventeen of them to be exact. I watched them form, change from white to gray to gray with black highlights. Some of them disintegrated before they reached where I was. All of them passed over the house I was in. I was with my mom and sisters. I was the age I am today.
I had no fear. Zippo. Nada. This is the first time I had a dream about tornadoes where fear was not present and the house I was in was not lifted off the foundation. My cats were safe. It was a good dream.
Went to Stress Management Group this morning. It was good. Talked about feelings, definitions, body symptoms, inappropriate expression, appropriate expression and what they could be confused with. I went one step further and identified what those feelings mask. That was very helpful.
Came home and goofed around on the computer. Looking up stuff about the 19 firemen that died. Very sad. Trimmed my very over grown bushes. Raked up the clippings and will deal with those tomorrow. Took breaks because my right hand doesn't have enough strength to hold the hedge clipper for very long. Got to sit in sunshine and relax. Felt good.
Going to watch Without A Trace DVDs. Not hungry so I skipped dinner. Monthly shopping is tomorrow. Will make a list in the morning and empty out the car.
See? Organized scatter.
That's all I have for today.
I found this video on someone's twitter account. I liked it. It's called, "Reel Wisdom: Lessons from 40 films in 7 minutes."
I dreamt about tornadoes last night. Seventeen of them to be exact. I watched them form, change from white to gray to gray with black highlights. Some of them disintegrated before they reached where I was. All of them passed over the house I was in. I was with my mom and sisters. I was the age I am today.
I had no fear. Zippo. Nada. This is the first time I had a dream about tornadoes where fear was not present and the house I was in was not lifted off the foundation. My cats were safe. It was a good dream.
Went to Stress Management Group this morning. It was good. Talked about feelings, definitions, body symptoms, inappropriate expression, appropriate expression and what they could be confused with. I went one step further and identified what those feelings mask. That was very helpful.
Came home and goofed around on the computer. Looking up stuff about the 19 firemen that died. Very sad. Trimmed my very over grown bushes. Raked up the clippings and will deal with those tomorrow. Took breaks because my right hand doesn't have enough strength to hold the hedge clipper for very long. Got to sit in sunshine and relax. Felt good.
Going to watch Without A Trace DVDs. Not hungry so I skipped dinner. Monthly shopping is tomorrow. Will make a list in the morning and empty out the car.
See? Organized scatter.
That's all I have for today.
I found this video on someone's twitter account. I liked it. It's called, "Reel Wisdom: Lessons from 40 films in 7 minutes."
Monday, July 01, 2013
Suicide Is A Sad Reality
I received a call over the weekend. A man I was asked to pray for a few months ago just committed suicide. A Christian man who loved Jesus with all his heart. A husband and father of four who loved his family. He was one year older than me. He, too, suffered from serious mental illnesses.
This brings up the "suicide" topic again. At least, it does for me. Here are my thoughts which are gleaned from personal experience. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Having a mental illness, no matter the number of them or degree of severity, is a constant battle. People without mental illness can't understand what we experience. The mind and the body are often in tune with one another. For example, when I'm having racing thoughts, my heartbeat quickens; when I'm feeling depressed, my body feels heavy and tired; and when I'm focusing on self-injury, my body freezes Most of the time, these happen all at once.
When I'm thinking about suicide, I can't stop crying. When my mind is conjuring up hopeless beliefs and a plan, my body behaves as if I'm in the process of dying. When I gather my tools together, my mind says, "Good job." When I hear those last two words, I know I need professional help.
I begin with an affirmation. "I'm one of God's examples of a life that has been able to get through suicidal ideation in the past so I have the strength to do it again." (Click Here To See When You Should Call For Help) The first thing I do is pray. I ask God, my Creator and my Heavenly Father, to help me. Second, I ask Jesus to heal the brokenness that is causing me to want to die. Third, I listen for any message the Holy Spirit wants me to hear. Every time, my prayers have been answered. EVERY time.
I've been hospitalized six times for inpatient and five times for out patient since October 2006. Miraculously, I have not self-injured the last two times I made the decision to go inpatient. I tell my psychiatrist, my therapist, my neighbor who takes care of my cats and one of my sisters that I'm going to the hospital. I pack a bag and drive to the emergency room or go directly to admissions. Once I'm meeting with an intake person, I tell the WHOLE truth: Yes, I am suicidal; Yes, I have a plan; Yes, I will self-injure if I'm not admitted; No, I cannot keep myself safe. Once I'm on the unit, I know I won't hurt myself and if I want to, all I have to do is tell someone. I know God is going to help me, through the people I meet, including the staff. I feel safe and comforted.
I know why this man committed suicide. I was told. His medications weren't working, his addictions were complex, he suffered from childhood sexual abuse and much more. The effects of mental illness got to be too much for him. And like (in my opinion) those who lose all hope, he chose to end his life. It saddens me that the statistics are true.
So, what could God have really said? Maybe, He didn't use any words at all. Maybe, He stretched out His arms and enveloped him in all His warmth, love and comfort. And maybe this man felt at peace for the very first time.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, dial 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 Click here for their website
Remember..You're NOT alone.
This brings up the "suicide" topic again. At least, it does for me. Here are my thoughts which are gleaned from personal experience. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Having a mental illness, no matter the number of them or degree of severity, is a constant battle. People without mental illness can't understand what we experience. The mind and the body are often in tune with one another. For example, when I'm having racing thoughts, my heartbeat quickens; when I'm feeling depressed, my body feels heavy and tired; and when I'm focusing on self-injury, my body freezes Most of the time, these happen all at once.
When I'm thinking about suicide, I can't stop crying. When my mind is conjuring up hopeless beliefs and a plan, my body behaves as if I'm in the process of dying. When I gather my tools together, my mind says, "Good job." When I hear those last two words, I know I need professional help.
I begin with an affirmation. "I'm one of God's examples of a life that has been able to get through suicidal ideation in the past so I have the strength to do it again." (Click Here To See When You Should Call For Help) The first thing I do is pray. I ask God, my Creator and my Heavenly Father, to help me. Second, I ask Jesus to heal the brokenness that is causing me to want to die. Third, I listen for any message the Holy Spirit wants me to hear. Every time, my prayers have been answered. EVERY time.
I've been hospitalized six times for inpatient and five times for out patient since October 2006. Miraculously, I have not self-injured the last two times I made the decision to go inpatient. I tell my psychiatrist, my therapist, my neighbor who takes care of my cats and one of my sisters that I'm going to the hospital. I pack a bag and drive to the emergency room or go directly to admissions. Once I'm meeting with an intake person, I tell the WHOLE truth: Yes, I am suicidal; Yes, I have a plan; Yes, I will self-injure if I'm not admitted; No, I cannot keep myself safe. Once I'm on the unit, I know I won't hurt myself and if I want to, all I have to do is tell someone. I know God is going to help me, through the people I meet, including the staff. I feel safe and comforted.
I know why this man committed suicide. I was told. His medications weren't working, his addictions were complex, he suffered from childhood sexual abuse and much more. The effects of mental illness got to be too much for him. And like (in my opinion) those who lose all hope, he chose to end his life. It saddens me that the statistics are true.
So, what could God have really said? Maybe, He didn't use any words at all. Maybe, He stretched out His arms and enveloped him in all His warmth, love and comfort. And maybe this man felt at peace for the very first time.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, dial 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 Click here for their website
Remember..You're NOT alone.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Great Is the Lord
I haven't been to sleep yet. Not since yesterday morning. Lots of physical activity helping my sister and her husband clear out the basement, rip up carpeting and padding, then bag it or roll it up. A twelve hour day. A great day!
Got home and couldn't settle down for the life of me. Up all night on the internet doing stuff with my blog, my new twitter account, running some programs on my computer - organize and streamlining processes. I made myself stop at 8:00 a.m. Watched "A Beautiful Mind." Took the cat litter out to the shed to put it into the garbage then BOOM! Another burst of energy.
Totally ransacked the shed. Organized it top to bottom, hung stuff on the walls, threw away what I no longer needed and wasn't useful to anyone else, swept the floor and pronounced it well done. While ransacking I organized my tackle box. Made it easier to pick the right size hook by using safety pins, used one side for bait/lures and the other for preparing the line (bobbers, sinkers, hooks). Prepped my fishing poles and packed them into the trunk of my car with a lawn chair so I can do spur of the moment fishing. Organized the crate I carry in the trunk, too. I think I'm done organizing.
In fact, I think I'm going to wind down and call it a day. The Lord is great for giving me more energy than I've had in a long long time. I don't know what contributed to it. It's probably a combination of consistent therapy visits AND talking about what's REALLY going on, eating better and losing weight again, medications are working well, the sunshine and cool temperatures and NO STORMS!! Even my sister said it seems like I'm doing better. Indeed I am...one day at a time.
Enjoy this classic song by Michael W Smith.
Got home and couldn't settle down for the life of me. Up all night on the internet doing stuff with my blog, my new twitter account, running some programs on my computer - organize and streamlining processes. I made myself stop at 8:00 a.m. Watched "A Beautiful Mind." Took the cat litter out to the shed to put it into the garbage then BOOM! Another burst of energy.
Totally ransacked the shed. Organized it top to bottom, hung stuff on the walls, threw away what I no longer needed and wasn't useful to anyone else, swept the floor and pronounced it well done. While ransacking I organized my tackle box. Made it easier to pick the right size hook by using safety pins, used one side for bait/lures and the other for preparing the line (bobbers, sinkers, hooks). Prepped my fishing poles and packed them into the trunk of my car with a lawn chair so I can do spur of the moment fishing. Organized the crate I carry in the trunk, too. I think I'm done organizing.
In fact, I think I'm going to wind down and call it a day. The Lord is great for giving me more energy than I've had in a long long time. I don't know what contributed to it. It's probably a combination of consistent therapy visits AND talking about what's REALLY going on, eating better and losing weight again, medications are working well, the sunshine and cool temperatures and NO STORMS!! Even my sister said it seems like I'm doing better. Indeed I am...one day at a time.
Enjoy this classic song by Michael W Smith.
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