Dear God,
Faith asked an interesting question tonight. "What does God say? What does God think about that?" I had to admit to myself (and You) on the way home that I haven't directly asked You. I hear the whisper of Your counsel, "What do you want to do?" I make my decisions then follow through. But I have to ask myself, "Am I close enough to You to be able to discern Your still small voice?" I'm not confident that I am.
So I decided to follow through on the decision to write the next part of our book at the library. I wrote six pages. I'm up to 3,400 words. Writing about third grade was very hard. I pushed myself through it. It was hard to see the love my dad showed in one instance then seemed not to love me in another.
I'm still struggling with my friend. I talked about that, too. I'm still not ready to listen to the voice mail from last week. I'm scared she no longer wants to be my friend. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. I'm not.
Trying to get myself to bed at a descent hour. Struggling with no appetite. Forced myself to eat something. Gotta take care of myself.
Day 1 - No self-injury. Lots of shaking. Some feelings (tears).
Lord, please help me do the right thing...even when it hurts.
Love your daughter,
Amy Kathleen
