A strange but normal thing happened the other day. Something I thought was finished. I guess that's why I was so surprised.
I was shopping for Christmas when I spotted some gift boxes for gift cards. There were two in a package. I thought to myself, "Perfect, I'll get three packages."
I said to myself, "I'll have enough for six people since one of my nieces won't be getting a gift card." I paid for my purchases and brought them home. It wasn't until the next day that my bell got rung.
I was putting the gift cards into the boxes when I saw one left over. I counted it out again.
Seven nephews and nieces
One without a gift card
Six gift boxes needed
What was wrong?
And then I remembered. It happened again. I included my nephew Aaron in the mix.
Aaron died from huffing when he was 18 years old in April of 2010. This was the fourth Christmas his absence would be felt. Sometimes it feels like the first.
My therapist said it's a form of denial that your subconscious goes into. Like a way to cope with the grief. I didn't understand it until I chewed on it for awhile.
Along with Aaron are the reminders of Cathy and my Dad who passed away in February of 2008. I know I'm not supposed to dwell on the past but I think grief is different.
Grief has it's own timetable. It's okay to grieve those we loved and even those who were very difficult to love.
Grief is grief no matter who it is or how long ago they died.
