They tell me that one day the memories will fade,
The shadows of my dad walking across the room,
And the touches of he and others on my body will go away.
They say those memories are kept alive until I
Let go of the pain they caused,
Let go of the emotional sadness I felt,
Let go of the physical trauma I couldn't stop.
Forever Scars.
They make it sound as if I'm the one causing it to linger,
I'm the one wanting to relive it,
I'm the one who doesn't want to let go
Because it's familiar pain that somehow comforts me.
Forever Scars.
Sometimes I wonder if they are right.
But then I look at my life and this is what I see:
A strong woman who fought a legion of demons to stay alive.
A young girl who stood up to an alcoholic beast and did not back down.
A teenager who chose recovery instead of living with more abuse.
A twenty year old who gave her life to Jesus, trusting Him for everything.
Just because the intensity of having been sexually abused by multiple perpetrators resurfaces doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me. Just because someone thinks I'm doing this to myself doesn't mean they're right. It's just their opinion.
These are Forever Scars.
Nobody has the right to tell me what is right or wrong for my recovery. Unless I have asked someone what they think, even then, it's only their opinion. God is the only one whose opinion I ultimately consider and believe. He speaks through prayer, my writing, His people and His Word.
Sexual abuse leaves scars at all levels on a person's body and mentality. Love them just the way they are. Don't try to fix them. Listen when they want to talk. Don't rush to hug them. Let them initiate touch because for them touch was often times hurtful.
Forever Scars.
