I was going to be dog sitting for about three days. I was having higher than normal anxiety. It was concerning me because it was proving difficult to settle myself down.
I spent time trying to relax. I told myself positive thoughts. I knew I was going to a safe place because I'd been there before but still. I felt high anxiety.
I spent a few moments pulling apart the feelings I was having instead of trying to cope with them as a bundle. I found familiar feelings and then I found some surprising feelings.
I felt trapped - like I wouldn't be able to leave her house.
I felt lonely - like I wouldn't be able to see my kitties.
I felt scared - like I wouldn't be able to visit the safety of my home.
I felt vulnerable - like I wouldn't have the right food.
Once I was able to identify these feelings, I made a plan to take away these fears.
She gave me a house key and a garage door remote so there was no expectation of me staying there 24/7.
I told her I'd need to go home to check on my kitties and clean their kitty boxes. This was met with great support.
I was able to not only go to my own home but also my sister's home to let out her dog.
I picked up some food from my house that would be simple and good tasting.
When I can push myself past the high level of anxiety and get to a place of basic thinking and functioning, I can make good choices that honor my commitment and benefit my self-care.
How about that????
