"How long, O Lord, will I keep shouting before I quiet down to hear Your whisper?"
- Amy Endler
Often when I'm running out of patience I zoom ahead in a fury, trying to accomplish what I think I ought to be accomplishing. I haven't planned nor prepared myself for the "what ifs." When a road block smacks right into my agenda and everything comes to a screeching halt, I'm frustrated at myself.
Then there are times when I plan and prepare so much that God has no room to make any adjustments. I think I've covered all the possibilities. Fear enters into the picture and I am paralyzed by it. My head contorts and I know what's happening. Once again I am trying to run my own life with my own agenda instead of God's.
Why is it so hard to submit my life to the God I absolutely adore and love beyond measure? I'm trying to figure that out.
I suppose it could be some deep unresolved psychological issue. Lord knows there are plenty of those lurking about. It could be some sort of sin I'm engaged in and oblivious to. It could also be a trust issue although I thought I'd already overcome that obstacle.
Listening for God takes discipline. It's a new habit, really. I've read that when establishing a new habit (good or bad) it takes 21 consecutive days. So what kind of habit would lead to listening for God?
For me, it's the practice of solitude, silence and sincerity.
Solitude is being by myself, uninterrupted, for a specific amount of time each day. Reading my bible, having a quiet time or doing something that slows down my rpm's.
Silence is turning off what's playing in my head and listening to the sounds around me. The whirring of the refrigerator, the traffic driving by, a cat using the cat box.
Sincerity is talking to God and letting Him know I am here if He wants to tell me something. Sometimes He speaks through my senses, sometimes through my blog.
My desire is to create an environment He'll want to meet me in and an environment I feel safe meeting Him in. Our relationship is a two way street.
He always wants to talk with me but He'll never barge in on me. That's not His style. He waits for the invitation.
I think that's pretty cool.
