Recently the little town where I went to school and the little village I grew up in created Facebook pages. For the last few days I've been captivated by the memories of people I barely knew. But there's one status that spoke to each of us. One that moved some of us to tears. It's the one that asked us to remember those who have died.
Needless to say, that status went viral. For such a small little town it seemed each graduating class lost someone, if not multiple students. My graduating class lost our first student freshman year. I'll never forget it. I still remember his parents having an open casket but I wouldn't go up there. I remember one of his best friends fainting when he went up there. I remember my friends and I sticking very close to one another. I remember the funeral home. I remember the church and the cemetery. I know today where he is buried. This is not something I want to remember. It's etched in my brain.
While I was reading somewhere else on the page something strange happened. Someone I didn't know asked me if I knew so and so. My heart stopped and got sad. Yes, I said. He was my Dad. This person said my Dad worked with his brother. He said my Dad was a great man and he missed him.
At that point I could not respond. It's not because I was moved to great sorrow or that I was reliving great memories of my Dad. The truth is...
I was screaming inside, "My Dad was NOT a GREAT man. If anything, he was great at being a self absorbed violent alcoholic who was a sexual predator in our family." There's NOTHING great about any of that behavior.
As a child who was a victim of his abuse, I felt triggered and outraged. As an adult who has worked very hard healing from the abuse, I feel better able to put how the child feels into perspective - to be compassionate. As a Christian, I know my Dad has already been judged. His sentence has been carried out. His punishment is long over.
And that's how reconnecting with childhood friends can be risky. At times, it can bring up some painful stuff but in the end, I can see how God put these people in my life. They laughed with me, cried with me, studied with me and played with me.
I wouldn't trade them for any others!
