For the past month or so I've been changing what I eat and how much I eat.
The month or so before I added nine pounds.
As of this week I've taken off six of those pounds.
I don't throw myself a party or find myself cheering.
I don't celebrate nor do I count it as weight loss.
I simply say, "I have three more pounds to loose to get to where I was."
Then I can begin again.
Is this too harsh? I don't think so.
When my weight is going up and down like that I'm not achieving a goal.
I'm playing with my food and living a lie.
Only when my weight stays off have I achieved my goal.
I want to live in a body that is not consumed by thoughts of food.
I want my body to be able to walk sensible distances without undue stress.
I want to strengthen my body safely so that I can protect myself from harm.
I want my body to feel fit and firm - not fat and flabby.
I think my body is the outward picture of the inner me.
My insides have some healing to do.
I'm not on a timetable to get all of that yuck pulled out and thrown away.
Instead, it's important that I continue digging and exposing what needs to be pulled.
Only by God's will and His grace will I achieve this healing.
It's my prayer that I stay in His will and grace.
It's my prayer that my therapist stay in His will and grace.
It's my prayer that those whom God has placed in my life stay in His will and grace.
Amen
