About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Sunday, June 08, 2014

Fear of Outside

I'm sleeping a lot again.  Most of the day was spent lying down taking little naps.  I did some chores, ate a little bit but then I'd lay down and nod off.

I was going to go to the forest preserve and sit at my favorite spot.  Toss my line in the water, watch the boats go by, feel the cool breeze and soak up the sunshine.  But when I would start to get ready to go, I'd feel this great sense of fear and I'd stop.

There's no reason to be afraid.  I'd be less than 10 minutes from my house.  I've been there several times before.  I think being outside is what I'm afraid of.  It's weird.

I'll talk to Faith (my therapist) about it.

Maybe there's a good reason for the fear that I don't remember.

It's worth trying to find out.