About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my 47th birthday.
How can that be?
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel at 47.
I guess I'm right on target.

For this birthday I'm going to share 47 of my favorite memories.
(Even if I was actually too small, I'm sure I was happy!)

  1. Being born and held by my Mom.
  2. Being held by my Dad.
  3. Being held by my Grandma Hesketh and Grandma Endler.
  4. Being held by my Uncles Eddie, Ray and Chuck
  5. Being held by my Great Uncle Bill and Great Aunt Pat.
  6. Being held by my Great Cousins Billy and Rich.
  7. Being held by my Godmother, Loretta.
  8. Being baptized as a baby.
  9. The birth of my sisters, Tina & Tracy.
  10. Our dogs in Island Lake, Mackie, Buster and Penny.
  11. My birthday party at the forest preserve.
  12. My neighborhood friends and adventures.
  13. The birth of my cousins, Jan, Missy, Cheri & Chris.
  14. My classroom friends and recess.
  15. My Brownie and Girl Scout friends and activities.
  16. Grade School teachers, Mrs. Butzman and Mrs. Brickert.
  17. Jr. High teachers, Mrs. Hojnacki, Mr. Willhoit, Mr. Sternberg
  18. High School teachers, Mrs. Deja, Mrs. Kovorak, Mrs. Kaplan, Mrs. Piper
  19. Bowling team, Soccer team, Track team
  20. Driving to Grandma Hesketh's house for miles
  21. Completing 1,000 miles to get license
  22. Passing license driving test first time
  23. Buying a motorcycle & Passing motorcycle test second time
  24. Getting a large settlement and helping people
  25. Living on my own for the first time
  26. Going to Scottsdale, AZ with Tina for my 21st birthday
  27. Going to Scottsdale, AZ by myself, Payson & FR300
  28. Grand Canyon Helicopter Ride & Hot Air Balloon Ride over Scottsdale
  29. The stars in Flagstaff, AZ.  
  30. Purchased Mobile Home
  31. Mission trip to the Dominican Republic
  32. Mission/vacation trip to Japan
  33. Mom moving to Lac Du Flambeau
  34. Meeting Tom and Bonnie
  35. Marriage of Tina Marie Endler and Dale J Hunt
  36. Addition of Joseph Hunt, Aaron Hunt and Jonny Hunt
  37. Birth of Ryan Tyler Endler, Hope Marie Endler, Samantha Lynn Hunt and Alicia Kathleen Hunt.
  38. Marriage of Tracy Lynn Endler and William Denne
  39. Addition of Neena Denne and Chelsea Denne
  40. Rescued a lot of kitties
  41. Met Pam, Laurie, Marie, Anne, Jo and others.
  42. Joining Facebook - reconnected with family, Kim, Jennifer, Saundra, Nancy, Sue and others
  43. God providing the right help when I needed it.
  44. Working at Bright Hope and Deodandum
  45. Telling my story in 12 step open meetings
  46. Going to Meier Clinics and meeting Carol/Going to LCBH and meeting Faith
   47.  My most favorite memory is when I was 20 years old.  I'd been attending church for six months.  I'd just learned my sin separated me from a holy God and there was nothing I alone could do about it.  But then my pastor continued talking.  He said Jesus came to earth to pay the debt of my sin by dying on the cross.  Jesus never committed a single sin and yet he died on the cross for my sin.

If I were to die today and stood before God with my sin, what would happen?  Somebody has to pay for my sin. Was it going to be me?  If so, well, I would go where the bible says there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.  I didn't want to go there.  It's called Hell.

Or will I accept the gift that Jesus offers? He would pay the debt I owe, no strings attached.

I was rocked by that question.  When I arrived home, after talking to a friend, I decided to ask Jesus into my heart and to receive his gift of payment for my sin.  That was in March of 1988.  I've never regretted that decision no matter how hard the trials have been.

Forty-seven years is packed with all sorts of experiences, hopes and dreams.  My prayer is that I'll stay focused on what God wants me to do each day so that His plan and purpose for my life will be fulfilled.