One of my faux pas is I say something stupid at each meeting. Every meeting. I hear a movie line in my head but when I deliver it I'm the only one who knows the reference. The ladies around the tables roll their eyes as if to say, "There she goes again." Yup, there I go again.
I've decided to shut up. The movie references are only funny to someone who has seen the movie and found that same line funny. Not many people find the same lines funny.
So the depression continues. I struggled all day to make sure I could function tonight. The shaking was so bad I could barely fold the registration forms. Thankfully the lady next to me needed more to fold.
I don't want to talk to anyone or be seen by anyone. I want to sleep on the couch. I want to stay by myself and not be bothered. I have some things to do for the non-profit I'm a part of. Thankfully I can do it at home by myself and communicate by email.
I wish I could talk to Faith. I could use another session. But they don't do twice a week.
Dr. Didenko wants to hospitalize me to get the meds fixed. Can't do that a week away from the major non-profit event. Besides, I really don't want to go there.
Cope: Movies, Barney Miller, rest, do what has to be done, ask God for help.
