About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Friday, March 27, 2015

All Things Considered

It's Friday.  One week until the event I've been working on with many others for our community takes place.  It's a miracle that I've been able to function and have moments of clarity where I can stay ahead of the game and get my responsibilities accomplished.  Only God deserves the credit for keeping my mind clear and my thoughts straight as I use the talents He's given me to serve this wonderful non-profit group.

I have a task to get done today which should not be too hard.  I'm hoping to have some down time over the weekend to rest up before our task on Monday.  I'm making sure I take care of myself but it's very difficult when all I want to do is curl up on the couch and sleep.  God has been helping me, through His Holy Spirit, by prompting me when to work and when to rest.  Even with the social anxiety I've been pushing myself to do things and go places that are uncomfortable.

I think I'll get out and go vote today.  Our library board and other township elections are taking place.  I like early elections because there aren't many crowds.  Maybe after that I'll take a nap.

Yes, the depression is heavy.  I stayed up late again.  I'm not binge eating.  I have a level 5-6 headache.  I'm taking my medication.  I'm doing as well as can be expected and no one seems to notice.  What a gift.

I'm functioning in a way that is good enough, like Faith says, "All things considered."

I'm dreaming about being hospitalized.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.
It's a lengthy stay.
Just not right now.