I look down at my arms and there are no marks.
No cuts, no nothing.
Depression can cause thoughts that lead to injury.
But the battlefield isn't slanted in one direction.
Injury is in the mind, not on the body.
I'm not thinking about it or
ruminating on it or
imagining how good it would feel.
Thinking causes false hope.
Ruminating leads nowhere.
Imagining isn't healthy.
Depression is still a puzzle.
Many pieces,
A border,
Subtle connections
Weird shapes.
A picture at the completion.
This depression is different than previous.
No sadness.
No sulking.
No hopelessness.
No suicidal thoughts.
No urge to self-injure.
Low/No Energy
Sleep on the couch
Hard to stay asleep
Tired during the day
Avoid people, places
Don't want to talk
Stay at home days at a time
Just to be by myself.
No one else except who I have to.
Then I pull out the mask.
Even to God.
