This week was going to be revising my treatment plan, finishing the review of my food/mood log from last time and maybe squeezing in this week's food/mood log. It was a lofty goal but that's how I am.
She, on the other hand, likes to slow down the pace and talk about the in between stuff. Emotions is her number one topic. Identify feelings that were happening in the midst of situations while I breeze through the situation virtually feelings unaware. I get frustrated when I have to stop and think about the feeling. To me it's a waste of time. But to my therapist, who is trying to show me the value of feelings and how they play a key role in my decision making, glossing over those feelings is detrimental to my emotional, mental and spiritual heath.
Last night I put together what I was bringing to therapy today. I didn't feel a sense of urgency but I knew whatever I was going to talk about with Faith would help me talk to my Psych this afternoon. I felt prepared, I felt peaceful, I felt I was doing okay despite all I was juggling.
My appointment with Faith is at 9:00 a.m.. Last night I could not get to sleep until almost 1:00 a.m.. I set the alarm for 7:00 a.m. knowing my snooze button would be used a few times. I was running on time. I was putting on my jacket when the phone rang. My first thought was my appointment is being canceled because Faith is sick. I picked up the phone and sure enough that was the reason.
At first I was bummed. Even though I had no pressing agenda, seeing Faith and listening to her wise biblical counsel gives me hope and courage to pursue what is good and righteous in God's eyes. I was sad because she has a nice smile that is evident when she's giving me encouragement and insight. I felt a little tender because I care about her as my sister in Christ so I prayed a prayer of healing.
Here's what I didn't do:
- I did not get angry because she had it out for me - this is a lie
- I did not feel abandoned because that's not in Faith's character
- I did not panic because I was asked if I had another appt set up - I will see Faith on Tuesday
- I did not catastrophize because there was no evidence that Faith is terminally ill
- I do not worry about Faith because she is putting her self-care into action
When my therapist calls in sick, I feel sad because I'll miss our time together.
Thankfully, God gives us next week so that her sickness may be healed and we can be Ambassadors of Christ to one another.
