In August of 1992, I was driving to work when the truck in front of me came to a sudden stop. The guy behind me had no idea we were slowing down and hit me at about 45 to 55 miles per hour as I was swerving to avoid him. My car sped onto the wet grass. I heard my hatchback glass shatter, tiny pieces flew everywhere. Still unable to stop, two objects came into view very quickly. One was a swimming pool. The other was a tree. At that time of year the swimming pool would be full of water. I had a fear of drowning so I prayed that I would hit the tree and I did. BOOM!
Then it was silent. I sat still. Too stunned to move. Little chards of glass were everywhere. I checked my body. No blood. My right knee, neck, shoulder and low back hurt. The windshield wasn't cracked so my head was okay. I wore my seatbelt and saw a long mark on my neck where it rested. Then I looked out my window.
Three people got out of their cars to check on me. One of them was a 911 dispatcher. I was less than a mile from where I worked. I wondered if anyone in the traffic knew it was me.
I was taken to the hospital and x-rayed. I could tell right away that something was wrong with my low back. Eighteen months later I had my first back surgery. Six months later I returned to work full time. Sixteen years later I had my second back surgery.
Chronic back pain has been part of my everyday life since the day of the accident. I have some level of pain everyday but I'm not on painkillers unless I can barely move. Even then, I'm under the care of a physian who is very careful with what she prescribes.
In the last five months, I've had two major flare ups. I'm in one today. These are times when I'm limited to laying down and not much else. Sometimes I talk to God, sometimes I reflect, sometimes I read and sometimes I sleep.
These are the days I pay particularly close attention to what's going on in my inner world. Nowadays I feel a type of cleansing and renewing of my emotional world. Writing the book is purging and bringing into perspective chronic pain of another kind that God wants to continue healing.
For that, I am very glad!
