It's a good day. I did not have insomnia last night. I slept 9 hours! I was able to get up with a little bit of energy. Ate a balanced breakfast and lunch. Got out of the house for a few hours. No SI urges - at all.
It's important to have these kinds of days. Though they may be few and far between, days of functionality are important to this person in recovery. I know it is a gift from God. After all, He created this day, He created me and just for today I can receive His gift of life.
I am a witness that God is in the business of transformation. I am not the same person I was four years ago never mind 20 years ago or more. I am very glad. The person I used to be was looking to others for validation, acceptance, meaning and love. I was codependent, actively drinking, a Christian - yes - but very mixed up inside. In a lot of ways I was so lost.
When I heard about God's invitation to be in a forever relationship with Him through Jesus, I wondered why He would want me. Think about it. Here's God, all powerful, all knowing, wanting a relationship with me. He knew how broken I was and how desperately I needed His healing. He also knew I was on the road to being separated from Him and that Jesus was my only hope.
After a few months of authenticating that message, it was made clear to me that indeed, He was pursuing me. Not for His gain, but for mine. It was 26 years ago this month that I began that journey of unshakable faith. My church, Willow Creek Community Church, has been instrumental in my faith development and depth.
A God day. One that is filled with thoughts of Him and His provision. That's how I want all my days to be - even on the more difficult days. Especially on the more difficult days.
