When the little girl was playing at their house, their daddy came home at daytime. Their daddy was nice and came over to her friend and picked her up and gave her a kiss.The little girl's daddy never did that. He rarely came home at daytime. He didn't hug her. Sometimes he spoke to her but it was mostly to tell her he was going to the bar and to watch her younger sisters.
She learned over time not to expect anything from her daddy. Especially when he was drunk and mean. It was hard to know what kind of mood he would be in so she tried to be invisible. But he would find her somehow and that's when the beatings began.
After awhile he started sexually abusing her so she made her mind go away by imagining she was somewhere else where no one could hurt her or find her. It didn't matter what anyone did to her body. She didn't like her body and how it had been changing anyway.
But then something strange happened. The little girl was inside a teenage body and mind. And one day the teenage girl's mommy came home and said her daddy wasn't going to live at their house anymore. The little girl was hurt and sad and angry that her mommy made her daddy leave. The teenager was glad and relieved and elated that mean abusive jerk was getting out of their home.
The teenager started going to a 12 step group. She was learning about the disease of alcoholism and the little girl was learning how the abuse was not her fault. None of it was her fault. She wasn't sure that was true but until proven otherwise, she decided to believe it. The teenager felt rage toward the alcoholic.
The teenager started learning about a Higher Power. The little girl liked this because he sounded like the kind of love she'd been trying to find all her life. There was only one problem: He had her daddy's face. She found out this is very common and could be fixed over time. The little girl decided to trust what they were telling her because they already had a loving relationship with a Higher Power. The teenager wasn't so sure.
The teenager stayed in these 12 step groups, joined other groups, got into therapy and brought the little girl along every stage of the recovery process. When the teenager was in her 20's, she was in a terrible car accident that her Higher Power, now Jesus Christ, used to bring her out of a sin she didn't know was wrong. It took a lot of courage to convince the little girl that letting go of that sin was going to set her free and allow God to heal her in many broken areas of her life.
When the woman was in her 30's, the residue from the horrific abuse the little girl suffered began to come out in ways that scared the woman. She had to make some changes. She did so without processing the feelings attached to them. She did what she's always done - she stuffed them down deep so they'd never come out, especially in front of someone.
When the woman was in her 40's (now), those feelings erupted like a volcano. And like lava, they continue flowing out at a slow but steady speed always hardening wherever they travel. The woman has been blessed in her relationship with God because He has sent faithful workers to help her. They are:
Good Shepherd Hospital, Barrington, IL - Nancy, Char and Susie
Meier Clinics, Wheaton, IL - Carol Davis-Serpas, LCPC
Lake County Health Dept, Libertyville, IL - Dr. Caban, Psychiatrist
Lake County Health Dept, Libertyville, IL - Julie Tevenan, LCSW
Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital - Dr. Didenko, Psychiatrist
Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital - Dr. Terada, Psychologist
Lake County Health Dept, Libertyville, IL - J. Faith Gallup, MSW, LCSW
The little girl's biological daddy died February 21, 2008.
The little girl's Heavenly Father is eternal because Jesus died on the cross for our sin.
I know who my daddy is.
Who's your daddy?
