This television is special to me. It's a Sony Trinitron XBR pictured above. It is high quality I found at Goodwill for $25. I've had it for at least 2 years. It has a ginormous screen and dynamic sound. It had more colored plugs in the back than I had components.
The cats had a warm place to sleep on top, there was a glass shelf for the kitties to lay on. The picture was so clear. I loved it.
What I should do? I could look at other televisions at Goodwill where I would pay 99 cents. Good brands, good working condition and maybe a remote control. I could look at Savers and find one under $10 with maybe a DVD or VCR or both built into it, good quality and good condition. But when I went looking, none of them felt right.
It's not like I'm grieving my television. Okay, maybe for a day or two but that was it. The truth is, I have a small television I can use. I bought it for another purpose and it was sitting in my bedroom. It had a very sharp picture, excellent sound and one component hook up.
It took some time to move the furniture around. It took some muscle I didn't know I had. It took some brain work to figure out the cords and logistically how it was going to work having two components use one set of jacks. But I figured out.
There's something bothering me inside that says I need bigger and better than what I have. Really? Why? Aren't I supposed to have bigger and better? Don't I deserve to have bigger and better? Doesn't my disability need bigger and better?
When I stopped and brought these questions before the Lord, I realized He wants me to be happy with "enough." He wants me to feel full with "enough." He wants me to be content with "enough."
I'm probably still going to struggle with feeling like I deserve more. I pray the Lord continues to teach me that there is more peace, more contentment and more joy in "enough."
I want to have more moments in the quiet streams of serenity than in the deafening loudness of raging rockets.
