About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Friday, July 18, 2014

Stress and Fishing

There's a blank space in my mind today.
No surprise there.
Too much stress, too much thinking, too much processing.
I've been trying to take care of multiple items.
Items that need my attention at the same time.
Can't really delay any of them.
Although I don't have to work on them on the same day.

Stress increases the minds inability to function properly.
My mind gets foggy brained - can't think straight.
I try to sort out the priorities but it's too hard.
I keep a spiral deck of index cards which helps.
Writing it down is good.
I wish I had my old brain back.

I'm so tired.
I went fishing yesterday.
I spent a lot of time getting my line ready.
I was trying to focus on the right hook and sinkers.
Hooking the worm was challenging.
Casting the line was great.
I was right on target.
I didn't get any nibbles but I felt good.
The weather was cool and the sun was out.

My upper and lower back started hurting.
I've had two back surgeries in the low back.
I was hoping to last longer.
It's okay, though.
It felt good to be outside doing something I enjoy.

Sat and read a magazine.
Watched many boats go by.
Packed up and walked through the marina to get to my car.
Saw a large school of minnows - very cool!
Got to my car and went home.

Tried to relax for the evening.

I'm very tired most evenings and most mornings.
I wish I could sleep better.
Maybe on another night.

Kitten has not come home.