I came home from my mom's filled with her love, kindness and home cooking. The fall leaves were at their peak, a black bear was walking down her road then into the forest across from her home and while sitting in her chair looking out the same window the next evening I saw four white tail deer walk out of the forest then back in again. I felt as if God arranged a nature show.
Her laughter always gets me going. She's seventy one years old and still makes funny faces, says funny expressions, knows how to play along with a joke and has the best smile I've ever seen. My mom can be quite a sneaky prankster, too. While we didn't get to play our 'out for blood' board game (Sorry!), I know the next time I go up to visit, there will be a pot of chili and those cards waiting for us to go head to head.
My mom will be visiting for Thanksgiving. It's always nice to have her down here. She gets to see her friends but more importantly she gets to see my one sister and her children. Mom is all about the grandchildren, of which there are nine. The oldest is twenty-five; the youngest is ten. A wide spectrum of opportunity to influence each child for Christ. My mom is a solid example of living life in Jesus' name.
I hope in my recovery I am able to heal and grow like she has. I know she would scoff at that but it's true. My mom has set the example for my sisters and I for just over three decades. She'd be the first one to tell you she isn't perfect and has made mistakes along the way. We know that.
My mom leads by example. When she makes a mistake, she apologizes for it. She owns it. She does not justify the behavior or make excuses. She asks for forgiveness and then she does what all of us need to remember to do: She forgives herself and lets it go.
My mom lives in the solution, not the problem. She'll admit she causes a lot of her own problems as do I and everyone else living on this planet. In our dysfunctional home we were taught the alcoholic was immune from causing problems. We were the ones to blame for his behavior. That was a lie.
Today our family lives in recovery because my mom made a choice to get help for our family. When my dad decided he didn't want to get help or didn't need any help my mom waited until it was the right time to make the right decision.
"I met with a lawyer today. I'm going to divorce your Dad."
That was in August of 1982.
I didn't know it at the time but that's the day my life would change.....
Forever.
