The last two weeks have had situations where I've been needed by others whose fear and sadness were very real. I've had my own loss which I haven't grieved yet. Last night I received a phoned call that has tipped me over the proverbial edge which has caused this writing today.
In an effort to get it "out" of me and onto paper (and to also get it in front of Faith's eyes for next week), I'm going to start by listing two of them. I'm also going to list how I am trying to cope and use good self care.
- Two weeks ago, a friend emailed, asking for prayer for her husband's serious health problem. She said I was great at it. She is a teacher from high school who I consider an angel sent by God. I hadn't talked to her for a very long time. He had a large brain tumor and was scheduled for surgery the following week. I prayed for she, her husband, the tumor, the medical procedure and staff and anything else God prompted me to pray for. She did a little socializing so I did a little socializing back. I tried not to stick my head in too much because she does have a support system. She shared that the cancer is aggressive and will return. I responded with few words. Her husband came home and was asleep. She let me know her family and friends were there for support. I sent a reply stating it sounds like all is well. I mailed a card. There's been no word from her since. I believe what she needed from me has been met.
- Self-Care: I did not become obsessed by making sure I did everything perfectly. I did not over-communicate with her. I waited for her to communicate with me, I asked God how to respond to her and I asked God what would be an encouragement to her. Because I've never been married, I have no idea what it's like to have a spouse with a life threatening health problem. I asked God to keep me from saying anything stupid or insensitive. I also asked God to help keep my Borderline Personality Disorder in check. So far, so good.
- Last week, my cat (Kitten) did not come home. Where I live it was the last nice day we were going to have. She was going in and out of the house several times. When she didn't come home that night, I thought she'd be home in the morning. She wasn't. Our temperatures took a nose dive. We've been in the 30's down to the single digits. I've been searching for her, posted a flyer, followed up on a couple of leads but no sign of her. I'm afraid with these frigid cold temps she either found someplace warm and isn't coming out or hasn't survived them.
- Self-Care: I've asked for help from neighbors and updated the flyer with a better picture of her. I'm being realistic about the possibility of her return. I've done some crying, however, I have yet to let go of her completely.
I hope to list two (or more) of them again tomorrow. This might not seem like a lot but to me, when it's all out, it will be the sum total of everything my heart and mind have been handling.
I haven't shared a video for awhile. This one has some great lessons and a great message. It's Pixar's, "For the Birds," and it plays at the beginning of Monsters, Inc..
