About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Un-Expectations

An unexpected day with a friend yesterday turned out really nice.  Her mom came along and I hadn't see her since I was a youngster.  It was a good time with no worries, no signs of mental illness.  I felt at ease most of the time and I even spoke up with ideas.

I felt safe.

Isn't that how friendships are supposed to be?  I like to think so.  I gave my friend the 2013 blog to read in preparation for publishing God's book.  I tried to read it just to know what she'd be reading but I couldn't even get to page ten.  I felt all goopy inside.  Embarrassed by my feelings, experiences, just all the stuff that makes telling my story so exposing.

She's giving me such loving words as she's going along.  I keep sitting here knowing I'm still in a depression puddle unable to really talk about anything.  I'm isolated in my house.  I only go out for volunteering.  I don't get dressed unless I have to.  I'm not eating again.  It's another round of something which I can't label.

I'm definitely not going into the hospital.

I'm watching a friends pommies in May.

That will be nice.