About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Bipolar Depression


Bipolar depression debilitates a person and also causes irrational thoughts to be entertained entirely too long in my mind.  Thoughts of:
  • Living completely alone or
  • Wondering if being alone is enough
  • Racing thoughts about friendships or
  • Racing thoughts about no friendships at all
  • Arguing with people about wrongs they've done to me or
  • Using physical force to make a point about their wrong
  • Eliminating all help from all professionals or
  • Quietly slipping away and missing all my appointments
Bipolar depression.  A beast in the mind that is very hard to tame.  It lives, it breathes and it ceases the body into acts of  shame.  Self-injury all through my mouth.  A knife would be easier but too messy.

So I take my meds and wait for it to pass.

It will pass.

I know not when.