About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

15 Minutes

Forever, it seems to me, I've heard this preached:  "Spend 15 minutes a day reading your bible.  It's how God speaks to you through the Holy Spirit."  I agree.

I've read it cover to cover at least twice, read several individual books repeatedly, memorized a boat load of scripture by book, chapter and verse so I thought I was covered.  Not.

I may have had bible knowledge but I lacked bible application to change my life.  I'd start the 15 minute deal then drift off someplace because of life.  I'd hear the suggestion again and the cycle would start over.  Start reading.  Stop reading.  Start reading.  Stop reading.  I became so disgusted with my inability to read the bible regularly that I limited my reading for special occasions.

Feeling down, feeling curious, wanting some direction, encouraging others, using it at church, needing to feel close to God and understanding Jesus better.  Those are valid reasons for reading the bible but in my experience now, I can hear (not audibly) God speak to me.  I can feel His presence.

Last month I was challenged again.  Like I said above, this time I obeyed.  I admit I'm averaging reading every other day.  There's one thing I came to realize before I started reading.  There are 66 books in the bible.  I wanted to read what God wanted me to read.  I prayed about it and it was the book of Matthew.

The best way I've found to keep reading is to use the timer on my phone and a set of spiral index cards.  I set the timer to 15 minutes and it counts down.  Sometimes I'm so into what I'm reading that I continue.  Other times I struggle in concentration.  I use the index cards to keep track of the date and what I read.  Very helpful especially if your bookmark falls out!

I also prefer to read out loud.  Even though I may stumble in my reading, I hear the bible come alive with my voice.  I can picture what I'm reading which makes it similar to watching a movie unveil right before your eyes.

Here's a key point.  When I finished reading Matthew, I did not presume that God wanted me to read the book after that one, Mark.  I prayed again and this time He led me to Esther.  I'm just about through with that book and today He revealed my next book, Job (Jobe).  It happens to be the book right after Esther but I know (at least I think I know) why that's next.  More will be revealed.

Today I had a root canal on one of my front bottom teeth.  I was a bit nervous.  I planned ahead and finished my 15 minutes while I was waiting for my name to be called.  Then I was called in.  The dentist was running a little late so I used that time to seek out a verse of courage and/or reassurance.  I remembered Isaiah 40, the end of it, but then I read it from the beginning to the end.

WOW!  It's amazing.  Below are the verses that spoke to my fear.  The full chapter can be found by clicking on this link:  Isaiah 40, NIV

When the dentist came into the room, she said, "That is a hard book to read."  I looked at her and asked, "The Bible?"  She said, "Yes.  It's very hard to understand."  I replied, "Not at all. In fact the one I'm reading is an easy to understand one.  It's not hard at all.  It's the old testament that tells prophecies and the new testament tells the rest of the story."  She said, "The old testament is hard to understand.  The other one is easier, right?"  I agreed.  When I was laying down in the chair (before she started the dental work in my mouth), I told her that if she ever got a Bible to start with the book of John.  It tells of Jesus birth (he was a baby) and his ministry for three and a half years.  Then I told her that would end my discussion of it.  Funny thing is at the end, she said I was her best patient!!  I think I'll get her a bible for my next dental appointment!!  Dr. Yu.

Isaiah 40New International Version (NIV)

Comfort for God’s People


Comfort, comfort my people,

    says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
    and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
    that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the Lord’s hand
    double for all her sins.
And the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
    and all people will see it together.
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”
A voice says, “Cry out.”
    And I said, “What shall I cry?”
“All people are like grass,
    and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
    because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
    Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
    but the word of our God endures forever.
21 Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
    Have you not understood since the earth was founded?
22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
    and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
    and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
23 He brings princes to naught
    and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.
24 No sooner are they planted,
    no sooner are they sown,
    no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
    and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.
25 “To whom will you compare me?
    Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
26 Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
    Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
    and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
    not one of them is missing.
28 Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.