About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Dissociating

Struggling to be normal today.  Up last night until 2:45 a.m.  Fell asleep at 3:00 then slept until 7:50 a.m.  Don't know what's been keeping me up.  It's like my mind can't shut up.  Plus the radio station/interviews are back.  I hear them when nothing is on.  They sound audible.  Have to mention this to my psych.

 Thought I had a therapy appointment at 1:00.  Right time, wrong day.  I kept pushing myself to show up.  Once I got there and was told I was a day late, I walked to my car and breathed a HUGE breath of relief.  I kept saying, "Thank you, God.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.  I had NO desire to talk - at all.  

 I stopped at the library and stayed there for two and a half hours.  Printed some stuff, looked some stuff up for my blog and looked some stuff up related to medicaid.  Time to make the phone calls tomorrow.

 My kitties are all sleeping.  I'm not tired.  I don't really feel anything.  I can tell I've checked out.  I'm in my brain a lot but not thinking.  Sucking the life out of it.