There's no need to worry so why do we? Fear.
False Evidence Appearing Real
This is especially true for trauma flashbacks. I can't tell you how many times I still have flashbacks and they freak me out. In the flashback I'm reliving the trauma (mostly sexual abuse). I am small, powerless and frightened.
One male perpetrator is much older, smells like beer and comes into my room late at night. Another perpetrator is female. She is older, too. She does something I don't understand. Another male uses me for experimentation and self gratification. Another male looks at my body. Another female is acting out from the abuse done to her. The other abuse was hearing someone I loved being raped repeatedly. I was helpless then to help and I'm helpless in the flashbacks.
This kind of fear propels me forward in healing. Sometimes, I catch myself in the dreams and respond accordingly to each abuse done to my body. Sometimes I can talk myself down from the angst, the body memories, the trauma. Sometimes, I am silent, dissociating now just like I did back then.
Fear is a learned behavior. Can I unlearn it when it comes to my horrible abusive past?
I hope so.
