I'm trying to work through the fear of leaving the house and going "out there." I'm trying to work through the fear of having lunch with a dear friend tomorrow. The body feelings are the same: panicky, nervous, shaky, stomach tenses, feet a little numb. Want to curl up on the couch and hide.
This is a frequent occurrence. I don't like to go places by myself too often. Not unless I know for sure I'll be safe (sisters house, therapist office, library). These are environments where I know nothing bad will happen to me. And if my safety would be threatened, I would have people watching out for me. I wouldn't be alone trying to defend myself.
Since I've felt this way for a few days, I'm going to send my friend a note. She knows this happens and understands why I have to change it. I'm just not up for being in too much public. In fact, I feel better already.
Breathe. I need to do more of it.
