Have you ever sought help for something you knew was a serious emotional problem? Were you scared? Apprehensive? Not sure you were making the right decision?
That was me in October of 2006.
I'd been in therapy where I was having vivid flashbacks of being sexually abused by men and women I hadn't remembered. Ages 4-26. No help from others. No way to stop it. I was alone and then my personality split.
I didn't become Sybil, like the famous book. I became Erik at age 8. I became the protector of my emotions my dissociating. I protected my Mom and sisters from my alcoholic Dad by picking a fight with him or getting in between them so I'd take the beating. He wasn't going to hurt them.
The dreams became more and more frequent. Some of them had out of body experiences with them. Some of them, while about to step into the shower, breathed on me.
I wasn't able to focus on work. Therapy was difficult. I was ready to run away like I had before. My mind was made up. It was time to go.
I stayed at a friend/co-workers house over night. She was a good friend. She made me go for a walk with her. I was trying to focus on what she was asking me to look at. Flowers. Colors. What would look good there? She was trying to get me to stay present. I was fighting not to kill myself.
I packed and was ready to go. She wouldn't let me unless my therapist told her it was okay. I placated my therapist and was allowed to leave. I was paranoid as I drove the 15 minutes home, packed everything I'd need, removed all electronic tracing devices, withdrew $800 from the bank, got an oil change and left.
During those couple of days I talked to God. I emailed my co-worker. I knew I needed help. I felt out of control in my head. I felt crazy. There was nowhere I could drive that would make me feel better. The only way to feel better was to commit suicide. But I really didn't want to do it.
When I got back, my co-worker fought for me to get to Meier Clinics immediately. There's nothing I can say that will ever be enough to thank her. Her advocacy saved my life.
Meier Clinics Outpatient Day Program was three weeks long. I needed every day of it. The therapists, psychiatrist, testing and individual therapy were the right combination to get me started down a road of recovery I was unfamiliar traveling.
A Christian based counseling center can incorporate God's word and the teachings of Jesus Christ in such a way that lies and deceit are exposed and truth replaces all of it.
The staff, I believe, are hand picked by God.
My therapist, Carol Davis-Serpas, LCPC, will forever hold a tender place in my heart.
I highly recommend Meier Clinics for any troubles you are having.
