I'm in touch with what emotions "feeling deserving" is bringing up: fear it will be taken away, fear I will sabotage it, depression that it's all happening at once, depression that I am so tired from the stress of it all and tender because I don't want to screw it up.
As a Christian, I'm not sure I'm supposed to feel deserving of anything. I think about everything passing through God's hands. Since it does I see it being given by Him. That's what makes it deserving. That's what makes it good.
I'm very stressed out. I want to lock myself in a room where I can't be found. I have a lot to learn with Windows 8.1 and Office 2013 and OneDrive. It feels overwhelming because my brain isn't as tech savvy as it used to be. Still, this is a gift from God so I must trust His judgment.
I can't wait to talk to Faith on Tuesday.
This in one of those rare times when I wish I could see her twice in one week.
I'll be chewing more gum to try and calm myself down and maybe go for a walk.
Lord, please hold me up when I feel like falling down. Let my weary soul find rest in you as I move forward in this season of life which you have prepared and set before me. Please help me to seek the help I need be it from friends, a better diet or exercise. I want to be successful writing our book. I want to hear you say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Love your daughter,
Amy Kathleen
